


after all, it's your love song (not mine)

by royalsampaguita



Series: give peace a chance [1]
Category: Derry Girls (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Male Character, Coming Out, Fluff and Angst, Multi, Polyamory, Pre-Poly, ma mary is only mentioned, no overt or covert religious tones in this one surprisingly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2020-06-25 04:24:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19738264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/royalsampaguita/pseuds/royalsampaguita
Summary: Pining is something that James was fairly used to.  He never really cared the gender of whoever it was that he was moony-eyed over, which is something he hasn’t really discussed with anyone besides himself at night and maybe Clare once when he was a little blitzed, but that’s another story for another time.  He’s not sure how it happened but somewhere in between the peace agreement and getting ready for their next year of classes, Orla and David somehow connected.





	after all, it's your love song (not mine)

Pining is something that James was fairly used to. He never really cared the gender of whoever it was that he was moony-eyed over, which is something he hasn’t really discussed with anyone besides himself at night and maybe Clare once when he was a little blitzed, but that’s another story for another time. He felt that it was probably obvious enough to those who were looking for it. The way he tried to emulate Father Peter, the eyeliner with Ms. De Brún, the fuckin’ nails, he thought as he looked down at his nails. They were painted a mix of black and a green that reminded him of Them. Clare and he had spent a night in, talking about all sorts of queer stuff and she’d painted them real nice. His attempt was…well, it was an attempt. His mind turned back to Them and he’s not sure how it happened but somewhere in between the peace agreement and getting ready for their next year of classes, Orla and David somehow connected.

At first, everyone was nervous about how Erin would take it, seeing as how she had thought David a ride most of their sixth (Michelle’s words, not that Erin would deny it when pressed though). The group’s apprehension was alleviated when she gathered them in her room that afternoon, including Dee, and announced to them that she had kept talking to him after the Friends Across Borders event and that they were in a sort of relationship, the “details of which she was not at liberty to discuss and that means don’t go reading my diary again, Orla.” Dee let out a laugh and Orla just smirked, letting go of the lollipop in her mouth as David grabbed her hand from where it was by her shoulder, bringing it to his lap and entwining their fingers, swiping his thumb over her knuckles. Her eyes slid to him and her smile softened into something that James looked away from, feeling that he shouldn’t have been witness to that kind of, kind of, God, that kind of intimacy.

“I have to go now,” he blurted into the soft silence that was in the room, quickly rising from the floor. Dee and Erin broke their stare, as did Orla and David, and Clare looked to him from the chair she was in with worry written all over her face. She was the only one in their group of friends that knew for sure how he felt about Them, though she and James both had a strong feeling Michelle knew. The way she looked at James from her spot in the window only confirmed it. Clare made to get up when, in his scramble to leave, he tripped over the edge of the carpet but before she could stand, he was in the hall and down the stairs with the door slamming shut behind him.

The silence after the door slammed shut rang in the room. Erin and Dee looked at each other, confused about what had just taken place in the last 10 seconds. Michelle and Clare both started to head out but before they could even take a step, Orla and David were off the end of the bed and out the door. The sound of Mrs. Quinn and James’ slightly muffled voices snapped everyone out of their stupor and the remaining four rushed to the door and followed Orla and David out to chase after James too.

———

After James ran out of Erin’s room, he almost took a header down the stairs and ran into Mrs. Quinn. She asked him why he was leaving in such a hurry and he lied, saying he had a stomach thing or a project due, anything that’d end the conversation, really, so he could leave. Once he essentially sprinted out of the Quinn residence, he picked a direction and ran. He wasn’t known for his athleticism in the group, but he was a damn good runner. He had to do something to distract himself when Orla told him that she and David were seeing each other. So, for lack of any other options, he picked up running. He laughed to himself a lot those first few weeks of building endurance at the irony of what he was doing. Literally running from his problems.

Trying to talk to other girls was useless because he was the only guy in school and a majority of the girls there assumed he was gay, even after his constant shouting of “I’m not gay!” in the halls and the whole two, three-day relationship he had with Katya. Talking to guys was out of the question; he lived in the very Catholic Ireland with a very English accent. He doubted really that anyone he was close with would actually care, especially after seeing the outpouring of love that Clare received from all of their friends and families. But there was a difference in thinking everything would be fine if he told the rest of his friends he was bisexual versus actually telling them. He had told Clare immediately after he admitted to himself that he was attracted to David. She said she understood where he was coming from, had called it the “Gay Fear”.

After running for God knows how long, James decided to take a break and sit on the side of the bridge over the river. He laughed a bit breathlessly to himself when he realized it was the same bridge where Michelle convinced them to take the jobs on the stolen job board from Finnoula’s. He sat in the middle, letting his legs dangle above the water and his breath even out. He wasn’t sure if his friends would find him right away, but he was sure that at least Clare had gone looking for him. The soft sound of the river lapping at the bank lulled him into a meditative state. As James looked at the water, he found himself resolving to tell Orla and David how he feels.

He didn’t know how long he sat there, staring into nothing. He remembers people walking behind him, enjoying their weekend or walking their dogs. The sound of footsteps didn’t rouse him back to awareness until the owners of the footsteps sat down on either side of him. He blinked a few times to get his bearings, coming back to the present, unsure of whether or not he was imagining this. But no, as he looked at the people sandwiching him, he realized that this was real.

“I think that the river looks lovely at sunset, don’t you?” Orla asked, her low voice dreamy. David chuckled from the other side of him in agreement.

The three sat quietly, watching the sky change color, blue into orange and pink. After a while, Orla spoke again. “Ach, James, are you okay?” The worry in her voice seemed so loud for a question that was almost whispered.

James looked at her, face softening into something he hoped was reassuring. “Yeah, Orla, of course, I am. Why do you ask?” He said softly.

“Right, that’s bullshit,” David said bluntly from the other side of him. James half jumped where he was sitting at the tone of David’s voice. David shifted, bending one leg up to rest his arm on and turning so he was facing James straight on.

“What-what do you mean?” James asked nervously, looking everywhere but at David.

“Something has been up with you for weeks now and while this isn’t the way Orls and I had wanted to bring it up with you,” David started.

“We just want to know what’s going on.” She finished. “You’ve been avoiding hanging out with me and David without Clare or Michelle or Erin there. Did we, did I, do something to upset you?” Orla’s voice was tight and her hands were fidgety, twisting in the fabric of her shirt. She wasn’t looking at him but James thought he could see her eyes filling up.

“No, Orla, God no,” James said, voice going soft. He made to grab her hands, but stopped himself, instead closing them and bringing them to his chest. “Of course not. You couldn’t upset me if you tried. And David, you either. Nothing that either of you could do would upset me.” He took a shaky breath in; it was now or never. “Have you seen my nails recently? The both of you?” Spreading his hands out in front of him, he displayed his nails for them to see, not waiting for an answer. Obviously not done himself, the green and black bled into each other at points but the simplicity of the designs only enhanced it. Clare did a cracker job. The green matched that of the bracelet David wore, given to him by Orla. The black matched that of the choker that Orla wore, given to her by David.

“I’ve liked you for a while, David, and you, Orla, even longer. I was going to tell you but I hadn’t accepted to myself that I was, am, bisexual. And then you two got together and it seemed pointless to tell you because you were so happy together. I didn’t want to get in the way of that.” James continued, pushing his curls out of his face. He grew out his hair again like it was when he first got to Derry. The downside to that was that it fell in his eyes all the time, something he’d forgotten about after he’d cut it. “I thought that by distancing myself I would get over my feelings and I took up running to distract myself but,” he let out a bitter laugh, “that obviously hasn’t worked out so well in my favor.” Sighing, he ran his hand through his hair again and brought his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around them. “I’m sorry if I’ve ruined everything.” His spoke into his knees and his voice was almost lost in the sound of the river but Orla and David heard him.

“James, we…I…we had no idea,” David said. He put his hand on James’ arm, “You haven’t ruined anything though.” He looked to Orla who nodded. “Honestly, James, Orla and I have wanted to bring you into this for a few months now. We’re so happy together, but we feel that we’d be even happier with you.” He finished his speech with a gentle squeeze to James’ arm and went to pull away when James grabbed David’s wrist.

He looked at David, eyes shining with fear and hope. “Do you really mean that?”

Orla gently stroked James’ hair, his attention turning to her. “James, we were going to tell you at the next chip night. We had a whole plan and everything.” Her voice was filled with laughter and she was smiling. The same smile she had given David earlier in Erin’s room.

James ducked his head, a blush covering his cheeks. Mumbling into his knees, James replied, “I’d like to give it a shot.” David slung his arm over James’ shoulders, pulling him in close. Orla rested her head on James’ bicep and intertwined her fingers with his. They sat like that watching the sun go down into the river.

When they finally got back to the Quinn residence, it was after dark. Dee, Erin, Clare, and Michelle were waiting for them in Erin’s room. Clare and Michelle took one look at James holding hands with Orla and David and smiled. Dee looked confused enough but happy nonetheless and Erin looked like she was gearing up for a lecture, but there was a smile on her face. A cheer rose up at their return and as everyone’s voices washed over him, James felt happier and more at peace than he had in a long time.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I didn’t intend for this to be as long as it is, but I really enjoyed writing it. The characterization might be off but I think I connected it well enough. The title comes from HUNNY’s "Your Love Song, Pt. 1". James' nails were partly inspired by a picture I had seen on Pinterest. Thank you to Georgia (charlesleclerc on tumblrm restless5oul here) for letting me ramble to you about these three (and seven) dorks! You’re amazing for putting up with my constant “a;kdga;adfafgqghh”s.
> 
> I am thinking about turning this into a series, as there's an awful lot of material I could use so if you'd be into that, chime off in the comments below or give me a kudos! Thank you again and I hope that you have a great rest of your day/night wherever you are!


End file.
